If anyone thinks love is just about falling in love with someone, they could not be more wrong!
Love is definitely an emotion you feel when you come across the right person. But there is so much more to sustain that love. You need to make the right moves and have the right strategy to win the game of love.
When you are blindly in love, you may never consider the chance of tiffs and breakups. Sadly, you will have to face this eventually, or else you or your partner are not human.
When you are trying to win your partner back, you may have to pull out all the stops to win her over. This is where you may come across the monstrous No Contact rule. Some highly recommend the effectiveness of this strategy when you are trying to edge your way back into your girlfriend’s heart.
So, does No Contact work on women? You will naturally ask this question.
In this article, we explore the minds of women to figure out the answer to this question. Here, you will find how you can make the most of this rule to get her back.
Can you win women back with the No Contact rule?
Various studies and surveys have proved that the No Contact works on women. Immediately after the breakup, women would be sad and angry. However, in a week or so, their emotions will abate. Slowly, they will realize that they have lost a big chunk of their life while breaking up with you.
She will start missing the long conversations with you and your presence in her everyday life. This will make her curious about how you are managing the breakup and whether you have moved on or pining for her. Her curiosity will continue to grow if you impose the No Contact phase.
Once women start wondering about something, they won’t rest until they know everything about it. With the No Contact rule in place, they will be at their wit’s end.
The things that women desire the most from a man are:
- Attention
- Appreciation
- Security
- Trust
- Space
When you insist on a No Contact rule after breaking up, you are denying her attention. This is something she will have a hard time accepting and tolerating.
On the other hand, if you succumb to the urge to contact her, send her gifts, or ask her for forgiveness, you are losing out on your bargaining power. You will lose the edge with her and she will run further away from you.
Instead, keep calm and allow time to heal the wounds. Resist the urge to contact her; this gives you immense bargaining power with her. Your stoic silence will make you more desirable to her.
It’s a misconception that chasing women and showing vulnerability will help win them over.
What are the chances that the No Contact works?
This survey gives a fair idea about the success rate of various strategies that men employ to win back the love of women.
In the survey, 525 participants were asked to answer a questionnaire giving multiple choices for the strategies they used to get back with their women. All of them had broken up with their women 9-12 months back.
The questionnaire gave multiple options, allowing the participants of the survey to choose more than one option. This was the result of the survey.
Self-Improvement – 53.3%
Time apart – 50.9%
No contact – 43.2%
Ex-back websites/YouTube videos/Self-help articles – 16.8%
Therapy/Relationship coach – 11.2%
Others – 6.3%
This means self-improvement helps the most in winning women back, with “Time Apart” coming a close second in the list. No Contact strategy too registered a substantial success rate in getting women back.
Does being emotional work for guys?
Most women find it hard to deal with an emotional man. When she doesn’t know how to deal with something, she keeps her distance from it. In this instance, if you wear your emotions on your sleeve, women may stay away from you.
From a man’s perspective, women are mysterious and hard to understand and predict. Men believe that women say something while following something else.
When men are nice to women, she will assign them a more feminine persona. This will turn women off and they will try to keep their distance from him. On the other hand, if the guy exhibits more masculine behavior such as giving off a bad guy image, women may be more attracted towards him.
Even when women sympathize with a man and support him in his hour of need, they will not be attracted to him when he reveals his vulnerable side. Women will equate being emotional with vulnerability.
The reason for this is simple enough. When she gets into a relationship with a man, she will be primarily looking for safety and security. When he is too weak to take care of himself, she will naturally wonder how he can help her.
Women are typically attracted to bad boys. This is also the reason why some women find themselves in toxic relationships with bad boys. Women are even willing to flout their own rules to get involved with bad boys.
5 Stages of No Contact Rule
The No Contact rule is a process that takes you through different stages of break up. They are:
1. Relief (starts from the first day of breakup and lasts until the 2nd week)
As you want her back in your life, it is safe to assume that she dumped you. She must have been gathering the courage to take this step for a while now and when she goes through with it, she will feel a sense of freedom, achievement, and relief.
On your part, it is normal to pursue her for an explanation as well as getting back together. Most probably, she will reject your approaches and appeals. You may add that though you don’t understand where this is coming from, you respect her decision.
2. Curiosity (between 3rd and 5th weeks after the breakup)
By then, she must have settled down in her new life and feel a great sense of accomplishment at keeping you at bay with her stoic silence. When you stop pursuing her, she will feel intrigued. She would want to know how you are dealing with the breakup and whether you have moved on.
This is the time for you to rein in your urges, be silent, and keep a low profile. You need to do this not only with her but also in the general sense. Stop your posts and pictures on social media handles. This move can heighten her curiosity.
3. Self-development (between 6th and 9th weeks after breakup)
She would be riding high after walking out on you. However, when you enforce the No Contact rule, you are taking away the power she feels over you. She may be expecting you to come begging to take you back. She would be so consumed by your thoughts that she would have a hard time enjoying her life. For her to get over you, she should be focusing on herself rather than on you.
Besides enforcing the No Contact rule, you can release a carefully edited account of your current activities through social media handles. This is bound to keep her hooked.
4. Depression: (between 9th and 11th weeks after breakup)
Things will become so unbearable for her at this stage that her mind will start playing tricks. Instead of your flaws, she could remember only positive things and happy memories about you. She will begin to consider the breakup as an error on her part and worry about losing you permanently. A sense of fear of loss starts building in her mind.
On your part, you can be more open about how much you’re enjoying your current life. You can post more stories and pictures on your social media handle. This would be like adding oil to the fire.
5. Fear of Loss (between 11th and 13th weeks after breakup)
Now, she’s thinking about you 24×7. She failed miserably in getting over you and eliminating thoughts about you. The thought of getting back with you will gain momentum in her mind. She spends her entire day trying to find out what you are doing. She may try to approach you with an olive branch but at the same time blame you for whatever happened. She wants to get back together without losing face.
On your part, you can act normal; neither too aggressive nor too submissive, neither too brusque nor too friendly. It is a wait-and-watch game for you. You need to realize that you don’t need to do anything. But you can make it clear to her that you aren’t angry with her.
Getting back together
Once you have gone through all 5 stages of the No Contact rule, she will be ready for the
“Let’s meet” phase. This would be a fun time for you as you can expect her to ask you out on a date. If you want to get back with her, it makes sense for you not to be stubborn and uncooperative. Try to act normal and friendly as if nothing happened between the two of you.
Don’t bring up the topic of breakup when she’s trying hard to be nice to you. If you have negative feelings about her, you must still be hurting from the breakup. In this case, you may need more time to heal the wounds. So, take it slowly. You can even tell her to give you more space and time.
Frequently Asked Questions
What makes the No Contact rule highly efficient?
The No Contact rule proves its effectiveness by instilling a sense of loss and apprehension. Initially, after a breakup, one might be filled with anger and defensiveness. However, when you completely vanish from their life, they will experience a profound emptiness. This period of separation and no contact phase will compel them to reminisce about all the sweet and beautiful moments in the relationship.
As their emotions and feelings become increasingly overwhelming, they will begin to question the decision to break up and whether it was the right choice. It’s often said that we fail to appreciate what we have until it’s no longer with us.
Do women who initiate breakups typically return?
In most cases, when the No Contact rule is implemented, women who initiated the breakup tend to reconsider. When she ends the relationship, it provides her with a boost to her ego, as she feels a sense of power in rejecting you.
However, as time passes and she observes that you’re not pursuing or pleading for her to reconcile, that ego boost gradually diminishes. Many women possess strong egos, often believing that being with them is a blessing. Consequently, when you withdraw the source of her ego boost through no contact, she may begin to overanalyze her own qualities and actions.
Can the No Contact rule be effective in a marriage?
Unlike with a girlfriend, a different approach is needed. To make it work, maintain communication on essential topics like children, finances, the house, and business. Accept her decision calmly during a breakup or divorce.
Avoid pressuring or bossing her around, as this only puts up defenses. Focus on shared subjects, not the breakup or divorce, to allow her to lower her guard. Create a safe and relaxed atmosphere, and over time, she may naturally expand the conversation to more personal matters, rebuilding your connection.
The Bottom Line
The effectiveness of implementing the no-contact strategy with women cannot be overstated; it holds significant power. It places you, as the man, in a position of authority and presents only one authentic choice for the women: to align with your perspective. They must either acquiesce and fit into your framework, or you will explore better alternatives.
If you’ve shared intimacy, her emotional attachment to you will make it considerably more challenging for her to move forward. Feelings of anxiety and the fear of losing you will likely arise.
To successfully navigate the no-contact strategy, it’s crucial to maintain a sense of detachment, regardless of the eventual outcome.
