Going through a breakup can be one of the most difficult experiences in life. Whether the relationship ended mutually or your partner broke up with you, the grief, confusion, and pain can feel overwhelming. You may be struggling to move on and start living life without your former partner.
In this article, I want to provide you with expert-approved advice to help you get over the breakup in a healthy way. From coping strategies to dealing with the initial heartbreak to tips for moving forward, I will offer compassionate guidance to help you feel better and move past the end of this relationship.
You can expect tips to help you through the emotional stages of grief, actionable suggestions to create a life without your ex, and encouragement to nurture yourself during this challenging transitional period.
My goal is that after reading this article, you will feel empowered to heal from the broken heart and loss of this relationship in order to thrive in your new normal going forward.
Tips on getting over a breakup fast
Let’s dive in and start with tips to help you move past the breakup with someone. Here are some suggestions to consider:
1) Take Care of Yourself
It can be tempting after a breakup to let your own needs fall by the wayside. You might not feel like eating healthy meals, exercising, or keeping up with personal hygiene. But trust me, taking care of yourself needs to be your number one priority right now.
When you’re already feeling low, not giving your body and mind what they need can make the sadness and exhaustion so much worse. I’ve been there myself after a tough breakup, living off ice cream and potato chips and not wanting to leave the couch for days. And let me tell you, it did not help me recover any faster!
Treat yourself to a massage, a new outfit, a fun workout class with friends – anything that nourishes your soul right now. And get enough sleep; those Zzz’s are crucial for physical and mental health. Don’t burn the candle at both ends, even if you’re tempted to stay up late marathoning shows to avoid feeling sad before bed.
2) Write a Letter to Your Ex
The idea of writing a letter to your ex may sound crazy or pointless right now. Trust me, I felt the same way after my last big breakup. The thought of putting my feelings down on paper to someone who hurt me so badly seemed ridiculous. What was the point? It wasn’t going to change anything.
One night, I sat down with a cup of tea, put on some soothing music, and started writing a letter I never intended to send. And let me tell you – it really helped!
Getting all of my emotions and thoughts out helped me process the end of the relationship in a healthier way. I thanked my ex for the happy memories and the lessons learned. I said goodbye to the future we had imagined together. Releasing those feelings was cathartic.
So, if you’re struggling to move forward, I suggest giving letter writing a try. There’s no “right” way to do it – just be open and honest with yourself. Cry if you need to. Get angry if you want. This is your space to say what’s on your heart so you can move on.
Once it’s written, you can save it somewhere private or even burn it. The purpose isn’t to send it to your ex (in fact, I’d advise against that!).
3) Spend Time with Friends and Family
I’ve learned that being around people who care about you can make a huge difference in lifting your spirits. After one breakup, my best friend showed up at my door with chocolate, rom-coms, and a giant hug. Even though I insisted I was fine on my own, her company ended up being the best medicine.
Call a friend just to catch up over coffee. Ask your sister to come over for a movie night. Go shopping with your mom or aunt. Plan a fun group outing with your closest pals.
Being around your loved ones doesn’t mean you have to pretend to be fine. If you need to talk about the breakup, cry, or even sit quietly while you process your emotions, they’ll understand. Just being together can ease loneliness and remind you that you have so much love in your life, even without your ex.
4) Know Healing Takes Time
It’s hard to be patient with yourself after a breakup, especially if you’re still feeling heartbroken and having a hard time moving on post-breakup. You may desperately want to fast-forward through this painful part and get back together with your ex, or at least wake up one day magically feeling okay again.
But the truth is, healing from a breakup and getting over your ex takes time. There’s no shortcut through the work of processing the emotional stages of grief and loss. Rushing through it or pretending you’re fine before you’re ready won’t help you truly move on in a healthy way.
After my last bad breakup, I drove my friends crazy, analyzing all the ways I could win my ex back. I read article after article seeking advice on how to get them to take me back. But the constant contact and scheming only prolonged my heartbreak. It prevented me from moving forward.
5) Feel Your Feelings
You might be inclined to put on a brave face and tell everyone you’re fine. But bottling up your feelings and ignoring the pain will only come back to haunt you later on.
Looking back, I wish I had allowed myself to truly feel my feelings when they arose instead of bottling them up. Releasing your emotions will help you move through the grief in a much healthier way. Ignoring your feelings and faking “fine” won’t speed up the healing process, as tempting as it may seem.
Be extra gentle with yourself right now. Respect where you’re at mentally and emotionally, even if it’s an utter mess. Let the tears flow, the frustration vent, the feelings evolve from moment to moment. You may feel this way longer than you want to, but embracing the emotions is the quickest path forward.
6) Do Something Kind
When you’re going through the pain of a breakup, it’s understandable to retreat inward and focus solely on your own suffering. But making a point to do something kind for someone else can actually help lift your spirits and provide a positive distraction while dealing with a breakup.
After a big split, I signed up to volunteer at a local animal shelter, just for a few hours a week. Those evenings spent walking dogs, feeding kittens, and giving belly rubs brought me so much joy and comfort during such a hard time.
A few hours of volunteering or an occasional act of kindness can lift your spirits more than you expect. Helping takes the focus off your pain and reminds you that you have so much to offer, even as you find new ways to get through this challenging time.
7) Seek Professional Help
If you find you’re having a hard time moving forward after a breakup, it can be incredibly helpful to seek outside support. There’s no shame in needing extra help from a professional.
Seeking professional counseling doesn’t mean you’re weak or “crazy.” It simply means you recognize you need more support. Therapists have heard it all before – nothing will shock them. And getting an outsider’s perspective can prove incredibly clarifying.
If you don’t feel ready for therapy, call a help hotline to talk things through. Or try support groups to connect with others experiencing heartbreak. You don’t have to shoulder the burden alone.
There’s no shame in asking for assistance to mend your broken heart. Going through a breakup is never easy, but having compassion for yourself and utilizing healthy coping strategies can help you mend your heart.Â
FAQs
How long does it take to get over a breakup?
The time it takes to get over a breakup varies from person to person. It can take weeks, months, or even years, depending on various factors such as the length of the relationship, the severity of the breakup, and individual coping mechanisms.
Is it normal to want to get back together with your ex after a breakup?
It is normal to feel the desire to get back together with your ex after a breakup. However, it’s essential to consider the reasons why the relationship ended and whether getting back together is truly in your best interest.
Should I try dating again after a breakup?
Whether or not you should try dating again after a breakup depends entirely on your readiness and willingness to enter into a new relationship. It’s important to take the time to heal and reflect before jumping into another relationship.
How can I get my mind off my ex?
Getting your mind off your ex can be tough, but trying new hobbies, spending time with friends and family, and focusing on self-care can help redirect your thoughts to the present. Be patient with yourself through this challenging process.
Is it helpful to take a break from dating after a breakup?
Taking a break from dating after a breakup can be beneficial. It allows you to focus on yourself, heal, and gain clarity before entering into another relationship.
Is it normal to feel sad after a breakup?
Yes, it is entirely normal to feel sad after a breakup. The loss of a relationship can be emotionally challenging, and it’s important to give yourself permission to grieve and process your emotions.
Is it necessary to have “closure” after a breakup?
The concept of “closure” after a breakup is subjective. While some people find it helpful to have closure and clear communication, others may find it unnecessary or even detrimental to their healing process. It’s essential to do what feels right for you.
