Find yourself a secret side chick? You deserve better, yet leaving feels impossible. Being the hidden lover damages self-worth over time. Even if he swears you’ll become the main chick, believe that after so long?
Breaking free requires courage when staying chips away at self-esteem daily. Deserve someone proudly showing you off, not stashing you like a dirty secret! You merit a relationship built on trust, communication, and commitment focused solely on you.
Ending things seems complicated, but reclaiming confidence and seeking the love you deserve is possible. Setting boundaries, avoiding triggers, expanding interests, and envisioning an ideal partner devoted to you can enable forward movement.
This article provides tips to shift from a side chick to an empowered woman. With reflection and determination, you can discover the fulfilling love you merit!
17 Tips For Walking Away From Being A Side Chick
1. Be honest with yourself and admit you deserve better
The first step is acknowledging the truth – this side chick relationship makes you unhappy. Though ending things won’t be easy, you must be honest that you deserve more than secrecy and lies.
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Stop making excuses that feed false hope he’ll leave his main girl for you. Let’s face it – the longer you deny the reality of being the side option, the harder it will be to walk away for good.
2. Tell him directly you want a real committed relationship
Once you admit you deserve better, you must also make that clear to him. Sit him down in person and tell him you want to stop being a side chick and have a legitimate, public relationship.
If he refuses to end things with his current girlfriend, you must walk away rather than cling to the crumbs of affection he throws your way. Understand that you should be someone’s only priority.
3. Set boundaries and make it clear you won’t be the side chick anymore
When you walk away from both the side chick relationship and him, you must set firm boundaries. Be prepared for him to manipulate you with sweet talk, gifts, or guilt trips intended to lure you back.
Staying resolved doesn’t make you cold – you value yourself enough to reject anything less than total commitment. Block his number and social media, and avoid his typical hangouts. Removing these temptations is essential to make you accessible from the relationship you truly deserve.
4. Remove all temptations by blocking his number and social media
When you walk away from both the side chick relationship and him, removing all temptations is key. Block his number, unfollow or block him on social media, and delete connection points.
Out of sight can help him fade out of mind. If letting go is difficult, ask a friend to change your passwords temporarily. Just understand that when you walk away completely, it’s essential to make you accessible for something real.
5. Avoid places you might run into him accidentally
Avoiding someone in the same social circles or neighborhood is difficult. But running into him will likely reverse any progress, making you second guess your decision.
If possible, consider switching up your usual hangouts, grocery store, or route to work to reduce anxiety about chance encounters. Let’s face it – you deserve a man entirely focused on you, not one who makes you look over your shoulder.
6. Confide in a few trusted friends who will support your decision
After walking away, having a few trusted allies in your corner will prove invaluable. The comfort of people who care and remind you that you must walk away from this unhealthy dynamic can help on days when you feel weak.
They can remind you that you deserve better whenever loneliness holds you back. Good friends won’t judge – they’ll uplift and empower.
7. Consider counseling to address any self-esteem issues
If being a side chick has taken an emotional toll, counseling could help restore your self-worth. Speaking to a professional provides judgment-free support as you go from side chick to empowered woman.
It can be hard not to question why you ended up being a side option in the first place. But therapy assists with internal reflection about unhealthy patterns so you avoid another side chick situation. With a therapist’s guidance, moments of weakness or second thoughts about walking away seem more manageable.
8. Embrace this transition as an opportunity for self-growth
Stepping away from being a secret lover allows much-needed self-care and discovery. Take time to focus inward on your needs and goals outside any relationship.
When ready to date again, seek different qualities than whatever drew you to this guy. He likely never will if he hasn’t left his partner by now. Position yourself for the best by knowing your worth – you deserve a man not shared with another woman.
9. Expand your interests and nurture new friendships
Surround yourself with supportive people who empower you, not those clinging to messy side chick dynamics. Lean on friends who remind you that you made the right call walking away and that you deserve reciprocal love.
Immerse yourself in hobbies that make you feel confident and well-rounded. In time, you’ll gain clarity that you don’t need him and are better solo than settling as a backup plan.
10. Take time to identify what you really want in a partner
Once free from the emotional toll of being a side piece, introspect on the partner you truly deserve. Consider qualities like honesty, integrity, and willingness to commit – not just charisma that fades. Get clarity that you deserve someone fully invested in you, not a relationship where you are considered second-best. It’s all about learning from experience to recognize the right fit when he comes along.
11. Know you deserve someone fully committed to you
Never forget your worth – you merit a fulfilling relationship with someone devoted to you entirely. It may take time to find him, but a side chick situation mustn’t cause you to lower standards.
Be careful because they could manipulate you into settling again. You deserve a love who can’t imagine life without you by his side – don’t sway from this non-negotiable.
12. Don’t listen if his friends try to guilt you into coming back
Stay resolute if his friends meddle post-breakup, attempting sweet talk or making you question the decision. They may try to make you change your mind but listen to your gut instead.
You know it’s best to remove yourself entirely from anything triggering this painful chapter. You deserve to close this door with no lingering ties or temptation of regression.
13. Be wary of toxic people who enable affairs or side chick behavior
Surround yourself with friends who empower and uplift, not those embroiled in messy side chick situations themselves. Be cautious of supposedly well-meaning pals who make excuses for his behavior or try to justify your return to that role.
You know it’s best to cut ties with anyone bringing toxicity or enabling you to backslide. You deserve a community supporting your growth into an empowered woman.
14. Reflect on any patterns in past relationships you should avoid
Use this transition period for self-improvement, considering any tendencies that led you here. Going from side chick to fulfilled girlfriend means breaking old cycles. Think hard about red flags you overlooked or compromises you made seeking love.
It’s all about learning from the past to manifest something healthy in the future. Once you feel clearheaded, you can get back out there on the right foot.
15. When ready, put yourself back out there to meet available men
After healing and regaining perspective, tentatively put yourself back on the market when it feels right. But steer clear of any attached men or those giving main chick vibes at first.
You deserve someone eager to commit and proudly take you out in public, not a repeat stuck hiding a side piece. The right partner awaits who will love, cherish, and respect you – no settling necessary.
16. Don’t rush into anything serious too quickly
Entering a new relationship resembles the exciting honeymoon period with the last guy. But avoid leaping into commitments rapidly to fill the void. Take it slowly, feel out prospects thoroughly, and don’t ignore red flags.
One of the most complicated dynamics is when you want it to work so badly that you let him know only what he wants to hear. Ensure actions align with words this time so you never become a side chick again.
17. Appreciate walking away allows you to eventually find the love you deserve
Initially, walking away may not feel as easy as it sounds. You may pine for what used to be or romanticize good aspects of the relationship. But once enough time passes, you’ll appreciate closing this chapter was necessary to seek something real.
You deserve someone viewing you as his whole world, not a secret he tries hiding. This decision was the first step toward the fulfilling love awaiting you down the road.
Final Thoughts
Ultimately, the choice comes down to valuing your worth enough to walk away from someone’s side chick status. It’s not easy leaving a situation that’s become a crutch, even when you know in your heart you deserve better.
His reluctance to let you go entirely can make you question everything in moments of weakness. But stay determined in your decision, and don’t make you change it – it’s the first step toward the healthy love and relationships you seek.
This transition will challenge you and open doors previously closed while you walk away from a system centered around secrecy. Use this as a catalyst for self-discovery. When ready, put yourself back out there with standards – never side chick to the main again.
Have faith in a relationship where someone proudly makes you their priority. For now, embrace liberation and keep aside time to focus inwardly. The personal growth during this period will only bring you closer to finding the reciprocal love you deserve.
