We all mess up sometimes when we’re in a relationship. If you like a girl, you don’t want to lose your chance with her. But maybe you did something that made her upset. Now, she doesn’t text back as fast or want to hang out. Uh oh – this might be a sign you messed up!
When dating someone you like, you must pay attention to the signs. If your girl is suddenly not into hand-holding or kissing, that’s not good. It means something is wrong. She might feel insecure in the relationship.
You need to figure out where you went wrong to get your relationship back on track. Did you forget an important day or say something mean? Are you not listening to her problems anymore? Take a minute to retrace your steps.
The good news is all hope is not lost! You can recover from a mess if you are willing to put in the effort.
9 Signs Show You Messed Up Your Chance With A Girl
Watch for these signs that she’s pulling away and your relationship is shaky. If you spot more than a few, you better prepare for profound damage control to return to her good graces!
1. She doesn’t talk to you as much anymore
If your girl used to text you all day or call you whenever she had something to discuss, and now her texting has dropped away, it’s a red flag. Maybe she only replies with one-word answers.
This is a sign that, emotionally, she has checked out a bit from the relationship. She could be upset or lose interest. Pay attention if her communication changes dramatically.
2. She removed your photos from social media
Social media like Instagram is where many couples show off their relationship status these days. So, if she used to proudly display pictures with you on her feed, and now they’ve mysteriously vanished, it’s a clear sign that something is up.
She might have deleted them in a moment of anger, or she doesn’t want reminders of you out there. Whatever the reason, take it seriously.
3. She always says no when you ask her to hang out
Quality time together is the lifeblood of every relationship. If your girl has stopped saying yes to date suggestions or hanging out, she doesn’t want to be around you right now.
She might claim she’s too busy with other plans or makeup excuses, but the bottom line is that spending time together has now dropped way down on her priority list.
Pay attention to this sudden disinterest in being together in person, as it’s a vital sign of trouble ahead.
4. She doesn’t open up to you about her problems
Part of intimacy in a relationship is trusting your partner enough to open up about things bothering you. If your girl used to vent to you or ask for advice and hasn’t told you about any problems lately, it’s worrisome.
She may feel that you no longer care, that you’ll judge her, or that her problems don’t matter. When she stops confiding in you, it sounds like she feels unsafe being vulnerable around you.
5. She hides her feelings and emotions from you now
Similarly, if your girl seems to be masking her genuine emotions when you’re together, that’s not a good sign. You can likely tell when she’s happy, sad, angry, etc. – but now she might be forcing a smile or saying things are fine when they aren’t.
This emotional shutdown signals she has lost her affinity for the relationship dynamic. She prefers to suppress her emotions rather than freely express them to you.
6. She doesn’t care about your issues anymore
Just as concerning as when she closes herself off – it’s equally worrying if your girl stops caring about what’s on your mind, too. In the past, she may have listened patiently when you vented about a lousy day or asked thoughtful questions if you were dealing with a problem.
But now, if you try to tell her about your life, she barely reacts or quickly changes the subject. She used to treat you like her boyfriend, whom she wanted to support.
Now, she treats you more like a casual acquaintance. This lack of interest is awkward and insulting if she used to be your number-one fan.
7. She pulls away when you try to touch her
Touch is an important love language for most romantic relationships. But if your physical connection with your girlfriend has changed recently, take notice. Hugs and hand-holding might have been welcomed before.
However, she might freeze up or pull back if you reach for her hand or try to kiss her. This shift likely means she doesn’t like something about the relationship dynamic. She’s putting up boundaries with her body language.
8. She has stopped putting effort into the relationship
It’s easy to slide into autopilot in a relationship over time. But if you notice your girl no longer taking initiative or effort, be concerned.
She used to care about planning fun dates or talking through problems. But now she brushes issues under the rug or leaves most of the work to you.
She’s not motivated anymore to nurture the relationship. She didn’t take responsibility like she used to. Make sure you aren’t taking her for granted here, either.
9. She doesn’t make plans for the future or talk about important days like your birthday or anniversary
If you used to daydream together about someday getting married, going on vacation, or having kids – but now she shuts down that vision talk, pay attention. Or maybe she always went out of her way to make your birthday feel special, but now she barely acknowledges it.
When she stops magnifying plans or essential days, she likely doesn’t like where she sees the relationship going long-term anymore. Her vision has changed from what it used to be.
How to Get Your Girl Back In Relationship Again
Thanks to those tell-tale signs, you know where things went wrong. Now comes the hard part – trying to get her back and restore the relationship to its former glory.
Buckle up because it won’t be easy. But if you follow these key steps, you at least stand a fighting chance to reconcile if she sees you’re serious about change.
Say sorry for real
If you know you messed up and did something to ruin her trust, you need to apologize genuinely. Use “I” instead of “you” when apologizing, don’t make excuses, and tell her precisely what you regret and will improve.
Express that you know your actions were wrong, and you feel terrible she got hurt. A real “I’m sorry” is a good starting point.
Show her through actions
Words alone won’t cut it. You need to demonstrate through your actions over time that you want to get your relationship back on track.
For example, if you didn’t make spending time together enough of a priority before, now you can plan regular date nights to show her she matters.
Or if you took her for granted, plan thoughtful surprises to demonstrate you truly listen and understand what nurtures her happiness.
Put in more effort
Let your effort level show that you like this relationship and still want to make her feel special. Bring back the little things you used to do while trying to attract her initially.
Open doors for her, check in to say you’re thinking of her and remember the little details. If need be, clearly communicate what specific effort she wants from you and focus on consistently delivering that.
Give her space if she needs it
After a blow-up, your girl might need solo processing time before she wants to discuss things with you again. If you’re going to fix everything right now, don’t force conversations on her while the nerves are still raw.
In the meantime, work on self-reflection about what underlying issues ruined things recently so you can have constructive talks later. If giving space is what she wants, respect that boundary.
Listen to her problems
Once the dust has settled, now’s the time for an open heart-to-heart chat to get your relationship back on track. Create a safe space for your girl to confide in anything that’s been bothering her or pains she’s been dealing with tied to your recent fights.
Listen patiently without getting defensive. Show you care to understand her perspective even if you have differing views. Rebuilding emotional intimacy by re-earing her trust to share her problems with you again is so important.
Wait for her
Rebuilding broken trust takes patience and consistency. Don’t knee-jerk into resuming your usual relationship habits or make assumptions. Your girlfriend may still feel shy about fully letting her guard down even once initial talks have started.
Make it clear through your actions over time, not just words, that you want to treasure your relationship and get back on solid ground.
It is important to wait and allow her to set the pace versus demanding things return to how they were immediately.
Tell her you miss her
If enough time has passed after a fight where the dust feels settled, try opening up about your honest emotions. Instead of nagging her to hang out again immediately, take a vulnerable route.
Share that you miss laughing at inside jokes together or regret not appreciating little things like her goodnight texts. Talk about specific aspects of your bond that you miss and why you cherished them, to begin with.
This can assure her the relationship wasn’t taken for granted. Promises to do better sound cliche, but telling the truth about missing what you had reminds her of the good.
Final Thoughts
When you screw up in your relationship, all hope isn’t lost. The first steps are realizing where you went wrong and soul-searching what you want for your future together.
Next, sincerely apologize while proving with actions that you regret your mistakes. After a significant fight, rebuilding her trust and emotional intimacy won’t happen overnight. Healing takes time and vulnerability from both people.
If you genuinely care for your girlfriend and the relationship, don’t give up without trying your best. Continue to tell the truth, listen without judgment, and give her space when needed.
Most importantly, remember relationships take constant effort; don’t take your bond for granted. If your connection was strong enough in the first place to really like each other, focus on nurturing intimacy and trust above all else.
When you mess up but are willing to work hard to be better partners, there is still plenty of hope.
