Have you ever had a boyfriend who calls you names as a joke? Even if he’s just kidding around, this can really hurt your feelings.
When your BF calls you weird nicknames or insults you for laughs, it can make you feel bad. You might start to think he doesn’t respect you. The constant teasing can even turn into emotional abuse over time.
In this article, we’ll discuss why guys joke around this way. And how their words can affect you. I’ll share tips to get your BF to stop the hurtful teasing.
My goal is to help you stand up for yourself in your relationship. You deserve to feel loved and respected by your partner. Not insulted or made fun of.
No one should stay in a relationship that brings them down. But with good communication, you can try to fix this issue. Let’s start by looking at reasons your BF might be calling you names.
Possible Reasons Why Your Boyfriend Calls You Names Jokingly
Why does your guy poke fun at you? Is he just a goofball or could it mean more? Let’s explore 9 reasons your BF jokingly calls you names.
1. He thinks it’s affectionate teasing
Some guys have a warped perspective on what constitutes affectionate behavior. Your boyfriend likely believes that constantly calling you silly names is his way of being playful and showing fondness.
In his mind, this type of “teasing” is just lighthearted banter or joking between two people who care about each other.
But intentions aren’t magic – even if he doesn’t mean to be unkind, his words still impact you negatively. You deserve a relationship free from disrespectful “joking.”
Let your boyfriend know that this name-calling, regardless of intentions, feels humiliating. Explain that true affection means lifting each other up, not putting each other down.
2. He has poor communication skills
For some people, it’s challenging to express affection or other intimate emotions directly. Your boyfriend may resort to calling you silly names or teasing you because it’s his awkward attempt to bond with you.
If he struggles to communicate his feelings, this ineffective name-calling might be his only route to feeling a sense of closeness or intimacy with you. It’s possible he doesn’t know how else to create moments of laughter and connection.
Try to have an honest, non-judgmental talk with your boyfriend about finding better ways to communicate in your relationship. Suggest healthy options like sharing goals, giving genuine compliments, having deep talks, or writing love notes.
3. He’s just a goofy, fun-loving person
Some guys have a naturally silly, goofy personality. They like to make jokes and often tease the people they care about. Your boyfriend may call you funny names or poke fun at you simply because he has a very playful nature.
To him, thinking up amusing names for you is a way to be affectionate and show his fondness. He finds it entertaining to come up with new, goofy names to call you. It’s possible he doesn’t even realize the teasing bothers you. In his mind, the name-calling is all just lighthearted fun.
If this sounds like your boyfriend, have an open conversation with him. Explain that even though he doesn’t mean to hurt you, his habit of calling you names damages your self-esteem. Ask him to focus his playful energy in more positive ways.
4. He’s mimicking friends/family behavior
Human behavior is often learned by observing others. If your boyfriend grew up hearing family members call each other names in a teasing way, that dynamic seems normal to him. Or maybe his friends bond by tossing around good-natured insults.
Your guy likely thinks this name-calling interaction style is how people joke around when they’re close. Help him understand that you don’t appreciate hurtful teasing like his loved ones might. Ask for the same respect he’d give a friend.
5. He’s seeking attention from you
Some guys poke fun at their partners or call them unpleasant nicknames because they’ve realized it gets a reaction. Your boyfriend may have picked up on the fact that when he calls you demeaning names, you respond emotionally.
Even though your reaction is usually annoyance, sadness, or hurt feelings, it still gives your boyfriend the attention he craves from you. Some immature guys will take any attention, even negative attention.
The solution? Try your best not to react strongly when the teasing starts. Calmly tell him the names are disrespectful, and you won’t tolerate them. Don’t give him the dramatic response he wants.
6. He doesn’t realize it bothers you
Believe it or not, it’s possible your boyfriend genuinely doesn’t grasp that his constant teasing and name-calling bothers you so much.
In his mind, the silly names he assigns you are meaningless and don’t impact you or your self-esteem at all.
Discuss sincerely with your boyfriend and explain exactly the impact of the “joking” using “I” statements. For example, “I feel embarrassed and hurt when you call me names in front of your friends.”
Don’t accuse, provide insight. If he’s oblivious, this conversation can create understanding.
7. He’s losing romantic interest
If your once-loving boyfriend has started calling you demeaning names, it could signal he’s losing interest in the relationship.
As his feelings fade, you become less of a girlfriend and more of a target for his jokes and teasing. He feels comfortable making fun of you because he’s detached.
Point this out to your boyfriend directly yet calmly. If he doesn’t change, it may be time to move on from this relationship and find someone who values you.
8. You called him names first
Hypocrisy never helps any situation. If you’ve made a habit of teasing your boyfriend or calling him demeaning names, you’ve set the stage for this disrespect.
Your guy likely thinks turning the tables is fair play. Have an honest conversation owning up to your mistakes. Apologize then ask for the name-calling from both sides to cease.
9. He wants you to break up with him
In toxic relationships, some guys use name-calling to deliberately push their girlfriend’s buttons until they finally end things.
By making you miserable, he’s trying to provoke you into doing the dirty work of breaking up. Don’t give him the satisfaction – end the relationship yourself with grace.
How Someone Calls You Names Can Affect You
Being the target of constant teasing and name-calling can affect your self-esteem. Even when said as a “joke,” your BF’s words can chip away at your confidence.
Over time, you might start to believe the demeaning names he calls you. This can lead to anxiety, depression, and other mental health issues. The name-calling can even cross into verbal or emotional abuse.
No girl wants to feel disrespected in a relationship. The mean comments can diminish your self-worth. You might worry he’s losing interest or talking to other girls behind you.
Don’t ignore this issue – talk to your BF directly and tell him his “joking” names hurt. Explain why respect matters and the impact of his words. Try counseling if needed. But don’t stay with a guy who won’t stop the name-calling. You deserve better.
Tips To Get Him To Stop Calling You Names
Is your boyfriend’s constant teasing and belittling you getting to you? Have you tried dropping hints but he still won’t stop the immature put-downs? Don’t worry – there are some simple yet effective ways to get your guy to quit belittling you for good.
In this section, I’ll provide seven easy tips to stop your boyfriend’s habit of making rude comments about you. You’ll learn straightforward communication strategies to set boundaries and make it clear the belittling must end. I’ll even give suggestions for relationship counseling if needed.
1. Tell him directly you don’t like the name-calling
Don’t hint around the issue – directly tell your boyfriend you don’t like when he calls you names, even jokingly. Speak up each time it happens. Make it clear you find it disrespectful.
Say something like “It really bothers me when you call me … in front of your friends. I need you to stop with the mean comments.” Be clear and firm.
2. Explain which names specifically bother you
Give your boyfriend insight into exactly which names upset you most. For example: “When you call me klutz, airhead, or chubbo, it really hurts my feelings and makes me feel bad about myself.”
Help him grasp the impact so he understands why you need the name-calling to end.
3. Ask him to show you more respect
Have a sincere talk and ask your boyfriend to treat you with more kindness and respect going forward.
Explain that relationships should make us feel lifted up, not put down. Say you want more genuine compliments instead of unkind jokes from him.
4. Suggest other ways he can be playful/affectionate
If your boyfriend insists the name-calling comes from a place of affection, suggest healthier ways he can express his feelings.
For example, you could say: “Instead of mean teasing, I’d prefer if you called me cute names like ‘baby’ or ‘sweetheart.’ Or if you brought me flowers or wrote me a sweet note sometimes.”
5. Give positive feedback when he stops
When your boyfriend makes an effort to cut out the teasing, make sure to notice and praise his progress.
Say things like “I really appreciate you not calling me names lately. It means so much to me.” or “Our relationship feels so much more respectful without the name-calling.”
Positive reinforcement will motivate him to keep it up.
6. Consider relationship counseling if needed
If repeated attempts to stop the name-calling fail, don’t hesitate to seek professional help. A counselor can help you get to the root of the issue.
With a referee facilitating, your boyfriend may finally “get” why his jokes hurt you. Don’t let embarrassment or pride stop you from getting help.
7. Evaluate if this relationship is right for you
If your boyfriend refuses to stop calling you derogatory names even after repeated requests, take a step back. Analyze your relationship dynamic and ask yourself some hard questions.
Does this guy truly care about you and your feelings? Do you genuinely feel loved, respected, and secure with him? Or does the constant teasing and put-downs undermine your self-worth?
Really reflect on whether this is a healthy relationship that serves you. If your BF can’t meet your needs for basic decency, you deserve better.
Final Thoughts
Constant name-calling from your boyfriend is never okay. If your boyfriend finds it funny to call you names, but it hurts your feelings, it is insensitive to you. No girl deserves this kind of disrespectful treatment from her partner.
Every relationship is different, but one thing remains true – mutual respect is essential. Couples use terms of endearment and communicate in ways that make both partners feel safe and cared for. Healthy couples build each other up through communication. Demeaning remarks should not be part of the equation.
A good person will respect your emotions and stop hurtful behaviors when asked. But some guys use derogatory language to manipulate or exert control. This can cross the line with verbal abuse. Don’t tolerate repeated disrespect or cruelty from any boyfriend.
Communication is key in every relationship. Have an open, honest talk with your guy about his habit of teasing you. Give him a chance to understand and change. But if he refuses, don’t stay with someone who keeps putting you down with unkind words. You are worth so much more!
