Are you having a Bad Relationship With Your Boyfriendโs Mom? Uh oh. You like your new boyfriend, but things are weird between you and his mom. No matter what you say or do, she never seems to approve of you entirely.

You are having your boyfriendโs mom not like you, which is the worst! You genuinely want her to accept you since sheโs vital to your guy. But for some reason, her behavior towards you is cold.
Donโt worry โ this is a common situation many girlfriends face. Even if she doesnโt show it, deep down, your boyfriendโs mom probably wants to get along with his new date. She likely has some concerns about you or the relationship.
The good news is there are steps you can take to understand her objections better and even win her over. This article will explain 8 key reasons she may not have warmed up to you yet, plus tips to help improve your connection with your boyfriendโs mom.
8 Reasons Why Your Boyfriendโs Mom Doesnโt Like You
1. She Feels Protective of Her Beloved Son
Itโs only natural for your boyfriendโs mom to feel protective of him. After all, sheโs known your guy way longer than you! To her, heโll always be her beloved little boy whom she wants to shield from harm.
Seeing her son with a new woman in his life can be challenging at first. She may worry you donโt know whatโs best for him yet or fear you have too much influence over him. It just takes time for dating her son to feel normal. Be patient and show you care.
2. She Thinks You Are Changing Her Son
Along with being protective, your boyfriendโs mom may also worry you are changing her beloved son too much. Even minor tweaks to your guyโs appearance or interests after meeting you could bother her.
Parents like seeing qualities in their kidsโ partners that seem familiar. Itโs unsettling when it looks like you are transforming her son away from the person she knows.
Make an effort to reassure her that you love your boyfriend for who he is. Also, highlight what you two share, so she sees you naturally click as a couple. This can help ease her mind.
3. She Worries You Donโt Have Enough In Common With Her Son
For your boyfriendโs mom to fully approve of you as his girlfriend, she must first believe you are a good match. She probably wonโt be your biggest fan if she thinks itโs a mismatch.
Maybe she assumes you donโt share the same hobbies, interests, or values. Or she thinks you have different friend groups or ambitions for the future. Whatever it is, she worries you two just donโt fit well.
Showing his mom evidence that you and your boyfriend have much in common is vital. Also, stress that you support each other in growing together as a couple over time. This can help win her over.
4. She Thinks You Are Not As Accomplished As Her Son
No matter how much your boyfriendโs mom seems to like you at first, she may eventually conclude you are not as accomplished in life as her son is. This can lead to some unwanted tension.
After meeting the parents, your boyfriendโs mother may feel that someone elseโs daughter doesnโt quite measure up to her boy. Even if not intended, comparison is common.
Youโll have to gently let his mom know that you fully support your boyfriendโs ambitions and are working hard to grow into your best self. Frame your relationship as a partnership of equals growing together.
5. She Had Unrealistic Expectations For Who Her Son Would Date
Sometimes, your boyfriendโs mother already had an unrealistic vision of who she expected her son to date. You likely donโt align with the imaginary girlfriend she had pictured for her boy.
This doesnโt automatically mean Mom hates you, though. It may require adjustment to meet the parents and shift her mental image to match reality.
Be patient and give regular reminders of what you admire about her son. Also, highlight small examples demonstrating your thoughtfully moving the relationship forward over time.
6. You Remind Her Of Someone She Dislikes From Her Past
Strangely enough, your mannerisms, style of speech or even laughter may revive bad memories of someone else in her mind. This can cause your boyfriendโs mother to feel annoyed or prejudiced towards you initially.
Unfortunately, if she misguidedly projects negative experiences with another person onto you, it has nothing to do with who you are inside.
Do your best to show interest in understanding what past hurts she may associate you with. Building trust through dialogue and proving her impression wrong over time is key.
7. Your Beliefs Or Values Clash With Hers
Even if you get along well personally, differences in core beliefs or values can negatively impact your boyfriendโs motherโs feelings towards you. She starts to feel you are guiding her son down an unwanted path.
Your differences donโt have to be central. But tension can simmer if his mom feels strongly about a political view, religious conviction, or social cause that conflicts with your perspective.
Listen to understand where she is coming from first. Ask thoughtful questions rather than debating to show care.
8. She Feels Left Out of Her Sonโs Life
As you and your boyfriend grow closer, his mom might also want to feel included in his world. But she can resent you if she doesnโt know whatโs going on anymore or feels pushed aside.
Do your best to keep your boyfriendโs mother looped in through regular check-ins. Share lighthearted updates on your lives and relationship milestones with her, too, so she doesnโt feel forgotten.
Make an effort to show you want her to remain an essential part of her sonโs life moving forward. Sheโll be thankful someone wants to keep impressing her!
Tips for Getting Your Boyfriendโs Mom to Like You
Spend One-On-One Time With Her
If you want her to like you, arrange one-on-one activities with your boyfriendโs mother. Even a coffee date, manicure, or thrift store trip allows quality bonding time.
Use this opportunity to ask about her life and listen closely when she opens up. Finding those common interests or funny memories together helps her relate to you more.
Ask Your Boyfriend To Tell You More About Her
Your guy knows his mom best. Ask your boyfriend to share what she enjoys doing for fun, top pet peeves to avoid, and even favorite snacks growing up.
Use these insider tips to help make conversation, pick thoughtful gifts, and show you โgetโ her. Itโs supposed to communicate you care enough to understand what uniquely matters to his mom.
Find Common Interests You Can Bond Over
Donโt force connections; organically highlight common interests or values you share with your boyfriendโs mother. You likely have more in common than you think.
As you open up, she may start to come around on her feelings if she sees evidence you two naturally click. Give it time and show you genuinely enjoy chatting or doing activities together.
Compliment Her
You likely admire certain qualities in your boyfriend that he got from his momโs influence. Politely tell her some of those traits and why you adore them in your boyfriend.
Hearing her best qualities live on through her son from someone new can melt her heart. Just be respectful and calm in your compliments.
Tell Her How Much You Care About Her Son
If youโve tried to talk to your boyfriendโs mom before with mixed results, trying a more direct approach may help make peace.
Yet, genuinely let her know why you care so deeply about her beloved son and your hopes to support him in the future. Make sure she knows you arenโt out to change him.
Be Friendly And Make Her Laugh
Being lighthearted and friendly when you interact makes it seem like youโre both on the same team โ you want the other person to feel good spending time together.
Smile, share childhood stories about your boyfriend, or ask about her day. Finding gentle humor in ordinary situations invites her to see you as caring and non-judgmental.
Ask For Her Advice
Even if your boyfriendโs mother doesnโt open up immediately, asking her opinion shows you value her wisdom.
It could relate to a minor life dilemma, consolidating two recipes, or even selecting the best movie. Sheโll likely invite you to chat more if she feels helpful and needed.
Final Thoughts
Building a strong connection with the important woman in his life takes effort but is worthwhile. Even if your boyfriend has brought home other girlfriends before, thereโs nothing wrong with you. His mom likely needs more time to see you unconditionally care, and your relationship might have longevity.
Get along with your boyfriendโs mother by showing interest in her life without judgment. Politely yet authentically communicating why you admire her son goes a long way.
You can transform her objections and build a long-term relationship with consistent patience and understanding.