Have you ever had an ex-boyfriend who hurt you badly come back around saying he wants to get back together? It leaves you puzzled and unsure what to do next. You may still feel for your ex, but can you trust him after he broke your heart?
While obsession, loneliness, or mere nostalgia could be why your ex wants you to reunite after hurting you, the decision of whether to risk more pain or cautiously renew trust should focus on consistent change in them versus empty words alone.
This article will explore 5 key reasons why your ex may want you back and how to figure out if you should give him a second chance or move on for good.
Reasons Your Ex Boyfriend Might Want You Back After Hurting You
1. He is obsessed with you
Have you ever had an ex want to get back together but wondered if they’re just obsessed and not really in love? It isn’t very clear!
They might be possessive, try to control you or your social media, or not give you space. Their obsession keeps them hooked, not truly missing you as a person.
When you asked why he said he still loves you when he didn’t seem to care, friends said he looks obsessed, not in love. So, be careful – letting him back in could lead to more pain if it’s an obsession, not a changed behavior.
2. He is vulnerable
Have you ever thought an ex might return after your bad breakup, but they go silent instead? It felt so hurtful when the ex stopped talking after a messy split from living together.
He’d realize what went wrong between us and want to reconnect. He finally texted, saying precisely that! But is it genuine vulnerability and growth or manipulating sympathy?
Don’t reunite too fast – people can change and fall into old habits. See if his actions back up his words before you trust him again.
3. He is lonely
It’s the worst when an ex says they miss you and want to reunite, but one wonders if they’ll hurt you again.
When the ex texted that after two months split, part of me hoped he was genuinely lonely and regretted our breakup. But his moods could turn to mean before – what if he lashes out hurtfully later?
It’s hard to know if he understands past mistakes or wants to fill emotional holes. Protect your heart by waiting for positive change before believing his longing is real.
4. He realized his mistake
Have you had an ex suddenly try reconnecting and even admit they’re at fault? It was surprising when the ex apologized for not putting in effort and asked for a fresh start.
It made one wonder – has he seen the error of his ways? While they may realize past relationship mistakes, wait before jumping back in hastily.
Test if supposed changes last by guarding your heart unless consistent behavior proves they’ve shaped up.
5. He is nostalgic
It was upsetting when an ex messaged about meeting to “reminisce.” Warm memories came flooding back until one remembered how we ended.
Just because an ex feels nostalgic about old times together doesn’t mean they’re ready for a future with you. Sure, they may miss physical intimacy or regret losing a caring person.
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But don’t fall into a painful trap of going backward unless they truly understand how they hurt you before and want to grow. Nostalgia does not guarantee real change.
What To Do When Your Ex Boyfriend Want You Back After Hurting You
Spend time thinking what you really want
When considering whether or not to take an ex-back who hurt you, spend time alone thinking deeply about what you truly want in life right now.
Make a list of pros and cons, really looking inward. Ask yourself questions to realize how much their return affects you – do you still have feelings for them or want to get your ex back even after the pain? Trust your gut in the end about what feels right.
Do you still love him?
It’s so hard when an ex is trying to return that it makes you ask yourself: Do I still love them enough to begin to feel like I could trust them with my life again and take them back?
Even if you still love that person, think about whether the issues that hurt you before have changed or whether history will repeat itself. Protect your heart first before believing words over real change.
Can you forgive him?
If an ex who hurt you makes an effort to make amends, that’s big. But can you truly forgive them and not just take them back, still feeling resentful? That will poison a renewed relationship.
See if they realize how much pain was caused, have asked directly if you can move forward, and if you genuinely feel peace about the past. If not, more time apart may be needed.
Are you ready to move on?
Even if an ex trying to reconnect makes it tempting to go backward, ask if you’re ready to move on alone or with someone new. It’s okay to admit if you’re not there yet.
Some reflection may still be needed. But don’t let false promises cloud your perspective, and realize people can genuinely evolve if you give space for that. Trust friends who know you best in the end.
Talk to friends and family
Getting wisdom from trusted friends and family is important when an ex wants back in your life, and you still don’t know what’s best.
Knowing your history can give an outside perspective to realize if this person has changed or fills emotional holes but won’t be good long-term.
Even if going backward feels comforting, loved ones see red flags you may miss when you are lonely or nostalgic.
Seek outside help
If an ex’s return feels too confusing to process alone, seek outside help. Go on and Speak to a counselor or advisor confidentially.
This allows you to be vulnerable about still having feelings but get nonbiased insight into whether this person is manipulative or genuinely trying to earn a place back in your life through fundamental change. It can clarify when you are too hurt before knowing what’s best for your happiness.
Final Thoughts
Deciding whether to let an ex-back who hurt you stirs up a confusing whirlwind of emotion. A big part may still love him so much and want to reunite, even though he didn’t give your relationship his all or didn’t care enough before.
If you have doubts this person can sustain effort and love, know that people generally have growth potential, but some never quite get there.
As hard as it is, you may decide it’s best to move on from someone unable to love you like you deserved all along. Prioritize your happiness.
The right person won’t damage then try reappearing – they’ll consistently value you. Only you can determine if this ex deserves that final chance or not. Listen closely to your inner guidance.
